Slytherin Ambivalence
by Beautiful Nightmare
Summary: *DISCONTINUED* Her life was mapped out for her...she knew she wanted to be a death eater...until she saw him...across the platform. Now she has a choice to make...follow her heart or follow the Dark Lord. A Pansy story of love and lifes tribulations.
1. Life as I know it

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Disclaimer: All characters associated with the books are created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

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Author's Note: This story was posted quite a while ago and taken down due to lack of muses, flow, and time. But alas, I am back and have re-written in hopes that I won't get completely bored of it and have to take it down again. 

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Slytherin Ambivalence

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A boy the first time I saw him, he had been tall, gangly, and uncoordinated, with a head of fiery red hair, a youthful face untouched by the troubles of the world, and carefree blue eyes. As a man Ronald Weasley had stayed much the same though his features had defined and become more chisled. He was still tall, taller then most men, with the same red hair, lopsided grin and blue eyes. But the eyes, which had drawn me to him in the beginning, had changed completely. They no longer held youthful ignorance but understanding. He of course had been there that fateful day when Harry Potter and the Dark Lord fought. He was always there, just outside my reach... But I'm getting ahead of myself... Let me start at the beginning...

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I was born into the powerful Parkinson family on a dreary Tuesday morning. For the first few hours of my life I believe that my mother and father fawned over me like loving parents. It was the only time that I would know their love. 

After that day, it became my sister's responsibility to teach me the ways of the world. She was my mother in all aspects of the word. She was always there to pick me up when I fell, and she, not my parents, taught me all the things I would need to know as a young witch. The exact way to swish and flick the wrist to get the charms right, proper pronunciations of the harder spells, and what to expect of the professors. We spent every waking moment together, laughing, joking, and playing, but always together. She was my whole world and I thought we would be together forever. But it was not to be, for one summer her letter arrived while we were eating breakfast, and she tore it open with feverish hands. As was expected, being a member of the Parkinson family, she was accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and would soon be embarking on her first journey. She was excited and her happiness washed over me in waves, leading, me to forget that I would be virtually alone for the next six years.

When the day came for her to leave, I accompanied her to the station platform to see her off. She hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and told me not to cry as it was very unladylike. I hid my tears for her benefit and put on a happy front. She would return to me in a year, I told myself, and the summer would hold new and exciting things for us. I waved as the train pulled away from the station.

The next year passed uneventfully, with little contact from anyone except the Malfoy's son Draco. He was my only confidante. We spent more and more time together, which pleased our parents a great deal. Both were old fashioned and believed in arranged marriages, though thankfully, they hadn't pawned me off on his family yet. But even Draco's company couldn't keep me from withdrawing form the world. I became insolent and my parents disliked me even more.

I wasn't the only one who had changed. When my sister returned home from her first year at Hogwarts she was like a different person. She had been sorted into Slytherin, a house known for their pride in pureblood witches and wizards. But unlike the rest of the house, my sister saw nothing wrong with non-purebloods and Muggles. We had been taught since we were very small that these Muggles, Mudbloods and Squibs were lower life forms. I couldn't comprehend how she could say "they can't be that bad." They were inferior to us! Plus, she knew our parents and where their allegiance lay. They were Death Eaters, two of Lord Voldemort's most respected followers. Both had hoped that we would follow in their footsteps, becoming Death Eaters and joining the ranks of the most powerful dark wizard the world had ever seen. 

As soon as they heard her loudly voicing her new opinions, our parents started to phase her out. Taking away her inheritance and the family name as soon as she graduated. She didn't mind because she didn't want a part in this particular life. Soon, my parents began speaking to me on a more regular basis and would often ask me uncomfortable questions about my feelings towards Mudbloods. Of course, I hated Mudbloods, but I didn't want to give my parents the satisfaction of knowing that I agreed with them. My sister saw this hatred and tried to convince me of her beliefs. I brushed her off, and for the rest of the summer we rarely spoke and uttered no more then ten words to each other. When the summer ended and she left for her next year of school, I shed no tears and didn't even look twice as she walked out the door. As far as I was concerned she had walked out on me the previous year. Once she was gone, I was free to hate in peace. I could hate anyone I wanted because I believed in the words my parents had taught me. Voldemort would rise again.

Five years later when my letter arrived by owl, I was ready. Or so I thought....

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Thanx for reading. I hope it wasn't too boring or confusing. I have no idea as to when this will be updated....it could be from one day to one month depending on how things are going in my life. I just wonder as to if I should continue or not....*rubs chin*....hmmm....

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Flames will serve to amuse me beyond reason, then used to light my neighbour's annoying poodle on fire. Flaming pooch!!

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Speacial thanks to: My wonderful beta readers, Demeter, Beth, Kate, Callie, Sherry, and Arianna. Thanks for all your help guys. 


	2. Off to Hogwarts

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Disclaimer: All characters associated with the books are created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

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Author's note: I don't really have anything important to say so....here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

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Slytherin Ambivalence

I had never been an early riser, but the day I was to leave for Hogwarts I was up before the sun had risen. I rubbed the goop out of my eyes as I walked to the balcony and stepped out into the morning air. Fresh air is said to cure anything. Today though, it had no plans on curbing the butterflies that seemed to be flying themselves stupid in my stomach. I shook my head as I collapsed onto a comfy sofa on my balcony and lay back to watch the sky. The blue color of the sky before the sun had risen was the most beautiful I had ever laid eyes on. It was light blue with dark undertones. The colors that morning were the likes of which I had never seen all meshing together as if only for my eyes. I knew today would be a day to remember forever and I lay there thinking of my future life at Hogwarts and beyond. The colors around me shifted to that of a baby blue and the sun settled itself in the sky for the remainder of the day. 

I was still lying there lost in my thoughts when a sharp knock on my bedroom door snapped me out of my reverie. "Enter", I called. The door opened slowly and my nanny Lucy entered. At 29, she was young, beautiful and the only person in the house who I felt really cared about me. She had been there since the day I was born, although I had not needed her until my sister had left. She often told me that she loved me as her own and I believed her. She was the only person in the house whose nature it was to tell the truth. She glanced around my bedroom in search of me, stooping to pick up yesterday's discarded robes. 

"Pansy?" she questioned in her soft feminine voice. She set my robes on the unmade bed and walked towards the balcony. "Pansy?" she asked again as she stepped into the sun with me. She smiled down at me and tickled my foot hanging over the armrest. "It is time for you to get ready. Master Isaiah wishes to leave for King's Cross in the next hour. I will set out your clothes for the day while you go have a quick bath".

"Will you braid my hair Lucy?" I asked as I sat up to allow for her to sit beside me. She reached up to play with my hair and smiled.

"Of course I will."

I grinned at her and shot out of my seat. "Thank you Lucy" I said and ran from the balcony into my room to collect my undergarments for the day. She appeared behind me and began singing to herself, as she looked through my closet for the new robes my Mother had bought for me a few days before. I hummed along with her for a short time until I had found everything I would need. I closed the door to the bathroom, ran my bath water, and turned the gold faucets on which held my favorite strawberry scented oils. As the mirror above the sink fogged up I undressed and stepped into the antique bathtub, a pleased sigh escaping my lips as I sank into the hot water to wash away my nervousness. I took a deep breath and slid completely into the scented water and stared at the ceiling from beneath. When I couldn't hold my breath any longer, I broke the surface and grabbed the large, glass bottle of pink shampoo. I mused to myself on the stupidity of these bottles but never planned on saying anything to my Mother. She said they made the room more distinguished. But I knew that she simply thought they made us look rich; rich enough to be wasting money on stupid bottles. Which we were of course, but I saw no real reason to continue buying them. 

I poured a small amount onto my hand and massaged it into my hair, breathing in deeply. From a young age I had loved strawberries, the way they tasted, smelled, and the color they stained your lips when you had eaten too many. After my head was covered in faint pink foam, I plunged under the water to rid my hair of the shampoo. I rubbed my scalp vigorously; making sure none was left and sat up. Water ran down my face as I grabbed for another glass bottle of the most expensive liquid soap the maids could find. My Mother would never settle for second best and the maids were ordered to travel as far as needed to find the finest of everything, including soap. I washed away yesterday's adventures with Draco in the forest behind the mansion. We had gone to play in the clearing in the middle of the forest and I had ended up teaching Draco to climb trees, something he stated he would never do again, seeing as how it took a good twenty minutes for him to climb down. 

I stepped out of the tub onto a lush bathmat, digging my toes into the softness and grabbed two towels. I wrapped one around my head and dried myself off with the other. From behind the door I could hear Lucy still singing and rummaging around my room. Presumably packing the rest of my things into my trunk and setting my affairs in order. 

"Pansy, hurry up sweetie. I have to finish braiding your hair before you go down to breakfast;" Lucy called through the door.

"Ok." I dressed quickly in my undergarments and opened the bathroom door. The steam poured out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, strawberry scent sure to linger well after I was gone. I walked to the bed and picked up the dark blue and gray robes. I smiled at the silky material between my fingers before handing it to Lucy. I raised my arms and patiently waited as she pulled the robes over my toweled head and straightened them. "Done," I mumbled in the general direction of Lucy as she hurried over to my dresser and hurried back carrying my brush and two strands of light gray silk. 

Lucy brushed the knots out of my hair silently. I knew she probably wanted to say something about my leaving but couldn't find the way to say it. I knew the feeling; after all, she and Draco were all I had. And in a few hours, I wouldn't see Lucy again for months. She braided my hair and tied the silk strands at the end and then turned me to face her. Her eyes were brimming with tears and I knew she was going to cry, though I wouldn't. She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back as her tears finally spilled over. "I'll miss you my dearest. You write to me often, you hear?" She kissed my cheeks and gave me a slight push toward the door. "Have fun at Hogwarts and do try to stay out of trouble."

I smiled at her from the doorway. "I'll see you on Christmas Holidays," I said and left her standing in the middle of the room. I bounced down the stairs happily and bounded to the dinning room. My mother and father were already there reading the Daily Prophet and sipping on goblets of wine. When I entered, or actually, stumbled into the room, they both glanced up and proceeded to look me over. I, of course, was expected to look my best for I would be representing the Parkinson family. As I was told over and over again, "We have a reputation to uphold".

I sat across from my mother and watched silently as an ugly little house elf stepped forward to pour me a goblet of pumpkin juice. I was just being served when my sister walked in and sat down. This was the moment my parents had been waiting for, and as I played around with the food on my plate they both folded and lowered their papers to the table. I rolled my eyes and waited for the speech that they had been practicing since my sister's return home from Hogwarts that first year.

"Pansy darling," my mother said, dragging out her _'r' _as long as she could. "Your father and I have something to tell you". 

"Pansy, you are a representative of our family. Now we realize that this school may not be the best, but you _are_ to make the best of it. You are a Parkinson and you have a reputation to uphold. You, of course, will no doubt be sorted into Slytherin and I trust that you will not mingle with the Mudbloods at Hogwarts." I smirked at that and he continued. "Do try and stay away from that fool Dumbledore as well. He will only try and convince you of the importance of interhouse relations and the like. I expect you will maintain a high average, and we will not tolerate you being any lower then the top five of your class. Is this understood?"

I nodded. Of course I knew this. Who did he think I was? An alien? I had heard almost the exact same speech when my sister had gone away for her first year. Although, contrary to her, I planned on following our parents recommendations. And then the conversation stopped and we all continued eating in silence. 

When we had all finished eating my father stood up, signaling that it was time to go. He led the way to the huge fireplace in our living room and grabbed a small pouch from the mantle. He took hold of my trunk, which had been brought down, threw some Floo powder into the fire and cried, "Malfoy Manor". He stepped into the green flames and was gone. Next it was my turn and as I stepped into the green fire I remembered why I hated traveling like this. The smoke clogged my nose making it burn. I had the uncontrollable urge to gag and cough simultaneously and I was being spun around waiting to pop out at the right exit. As I saw the Malfoy's living room I tried to steady myself to no avail. I touched down, stumbled unsteadily and fell to my knees just as my sister stepped out of the fireplace. My mother came next, stepped past me and asked somewhat harshly, "Pansy what are you doing on the floor?"

I rolled my eyes at the floor and said, "Just admiring the carpet Mother." Draco reached down and put his arms under my armpits and lifted me to my feet. I smiled my thanks to him and we both smirked when his mother started telling us of the origin of the carpet. 

When Draco's trunk had been brought down from his room, our parents said it was time to go. We were both excited. I had grown so used to Draco, that without words, I could tell he was nervous. I grabbed his hand and we followed our parents out to the Ministry vehicles that had been provided for us. His father and mother stepped into the car in front and my family stepped into the car behind that. Draco climbed in after his parents and before mine could say anything I had hopped in behind him and closed the door. We sat together, holding hands, both in our own worried worlds. I stared out the window silently until Draco whispered in my ear. "Pansy, don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you. Crabbe, Goyle and I will watch out for you." I nodded. Of course he would; he was, after all, my best friend. But of Crabbe and Goyle, I wasn't so sure. I had heard my father and mother talking about their parents and how they were all "blundering idiots". 

When we arrived at King's Cross, we all piled out of the cars and made our way to platform Nine and Three Quarters. It wasn't the first time I had been through, for I had seen my sister off in her first year but it was Draco's first time. My parents and sister went first and I hung back to go with Draco. "We can run if you're nervous Draco," I told him. He just nodded his head and I tugged him along behind me as I sprinted towards the wall. As soon as we where through, I stopped and Draco slammed into me from behind. I turned around to see him just opening his eyes and gazing around in childlike wonder. I grinned at him, for I had had the same feeling the first time I had seen it too. In front of us was a huge scarlet steam engine with the words "Hogwarts Express" across the side of it. Milling around, were hundreds of children of all ages with their parents. I did not wish to have one of those awkward family moments, so I left Draco with his parents and walked the two feet away to mine. 

When I stepped up to them, my father was talking to my sister in an unfatherly tone. This was it. "Victoria this is your last year at Hogwarts and your last year in our house. When the school year is over I want you to collect your things and move into your own house. As of that moment you are not welcome in our home again. Then you can befriend as many Mudbloods as you want." She simply shook her head and moved aside for me to say goodbye. His goodbye to me was something of a shock. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms though I'm sure it was only for show. After all, he was a politician and we were surrounded by many of his peers and subordinates. "Honey, have a good term. We'll see you at Christmas. Stay with the Malfoy's son, he will watch out for you." He then smiled down at me, gave me a quick hug, grabbed my mothers hand and left. As I stood there in complete and utter shock my sister stepped up beside me and put her arm around my shoulder. I shrugged it off and faced her.

"Geez Pansy, you look like you've seen a ghost." I glanced at her, nothing but pity on my face. "Pansy after this year is up.... If you want.... You can come live with me. I can find us a nice little house or something. It could be like old times." 

I laughed then, laughed in her face until tears streamed down my cheeks. "Yeah right, Victoria. It'll never be like old times. Go have fun with your little Mudbloods and stay out of my life." I had said it. It had severed our relationship forever. However, I didn't care in the least, I felt nothing for her except disgust at what had befallen her. "Have a nice life, Victoria". She walked away and never looked back. I wiped the tears from my face and walked towards the Malfoy's.

I returned to Draco's side, waiting for him to finish his goodbyes with his parents. I watched as his mother held him tightly and cried on his shoulder, his face turning brilliantly red from embarrassment. She sobbed loudly; her little boy was leaving. His father pulled him into a hug and ruffled his hair, which I knew Draco hated. He didn't say anything though for his father never showed him much attention and I knew this was a welcome change. Standing there was uncomfortable for me, seeing as I didn't have this kind of relationship with my parents. I walked to the end of the platform and waited for Draco there.

Nervously I shuffled my feet as I watched the comings and goings of people. I saw many children my age and wondered which small number of these could actually make it into Slytherin. That's when I saw them, the eyes that would haunt me day in and day out. They would haunt my every thought and dream. His eyes; the first thing I would see when I woke and the last thing I would see just before I fell asleep. These were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. A blue the colors of the sky just before the sun rises and the same color I had seen earlier this morning when I was on my balcony. They were light blue, surrounded by a dark blue ring. I stood unmoving just gazing at them.

When they looked at me I shook my head to clear my brain and looked back. While he stood there gazing at me, I took the chance to look him over. He was tall, maybe a foot taller then myself, with a full head of fiery red hair that was in total disarray. His face was playful and held hints of a mischief nature. Our eyes remained locked for what seemed like hours but in reality was merely seconds. When Draco came up behind me and said, "Pansy my mother and father want to say goodbye," I looked away from those exciting, new eyes and into Draco's familiar ones. I felt my cheeks flush and he grinned looking around me and to the boy that I was so openly staring at. "Who you looking at?"

"Uh.... No one," I stuttered as I glanced around again, trying to find him amongst all the other people on the platform. I caught a glimpse as he stepped onto the train with two other boys, both with the same red hair, only lighter and identical faces. I grabbed Draco and tugged him back to his parents. They both hugged me and told me they would look forward to Christmas dinner, to which I had already been invited. As they left I smiled. There would be no parents for almost a whole year. This was going to be great. We boarded the train and found an empty compartment in the middle and waited for the train to move. Eventually, when it did, and students started moving about in the halls Crabbe and Goyle came to find Draco. The two boys opened the door and stepped into the compartment, both talking at once.

"Pansy, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle. Guys this is Pansy." He indicated who was who and they looked me over slowly. 

"Hi," I said and waited for their response. When they didn't answer I shrugged and smiled at Draco. I didn't want him thinking that I didn't like his friends. 

"We're going to go see if we know anyone else here. Do you want to come?" I shook my head and stared after Draco as he left. I sat alone in my compartment thinking of the boy with the red hair and gorgeous eyes. Once we arrived at Hogwarts I was bound to see him again, so I put my worries aside and enjoyed the rest of the ride. When Draco returned, he told me that Harry Potter was on the train. The Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the boy who had defeated the Dark Lord! I was interested in spite of myself. Draco told me that Potter had blown him off and was hanging out with a Weasley. I had heard this name around my house as well as Draco's. What had his father always said? "All the Weasley's have red hair, freckles and more children then they can afford." Yup, that was it. I never even caught on that the mystery boy I was looking forward to seeing could in fact be a Weasley. The thought never even crossed my mind. 

The four of us talked and I soon realized that Crabbe and Goyle weren't that bad. That even though they were huge and intimidating they were quite shy. I knew then that they would be good friends to have along for the next seven years. When we pulled into the station we were all in our new Hogwarts robes and wasted no time in scampering off the train and into the night. I looked to Draco for direction but he had no idea where we were to go either. So, like the rest of the first years, we stood around waiting for someone to show us where to go.

A lamp lit up the night and a deep voice called, "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there Harry?" I stepped up to the imposing man with Draco and gazed straight up at the giant figure. I remembered then what my father had said about giants. "Never to be trusted, but very useful when needed." I had no idea what he was talking about but I had listened none-the-less. This particular man was massive and hairy and I knew right away that he would be trouble. A giant can never be anything but.

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That's it for now....since I'm really tired and am off to sleep....or at lest to party. I hope you enjoyed this and I can tell you right now I have absolutely no idea when the next chapter will be ready. Maybe soon....maybe not....it all depends. 

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Flames will serve to amuse me beyond reason.....giving me hours of enjoyment then used to light my neighbour's annoying poodle on fire. Flaming pooch! Pictures of course will be taken to remind me of the wonderful day when it stopped yapping....and will be sold at $7.99 a piece. *grins*....hey I gotta turn a profit somehow right?

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Rivendell: I'm glad you decided to try something new and even more glad that I didn't turn you off Pansy fics all together. (I have no idea why your review got deleted but I wanted to thank you anyways) 

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soul of fyre158: Yah I thought it was an interesting combination also....sorta like peanut butter and onions. *laughs*....think outside the box.....when do I think inside the box....*smirks*. Unspoken measures? *grins*....is this a threat....cause I better get on writing then....crazed fans can do weird things....I know....I'm one of them. Thanx for the review.

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f0xyness39: *sighs*....I know you don't see many Pansy stories....though as of late a few new ones have cropped up. I'm glad you liked it. I will, I will, I wIlL! Thanx for the review. 

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ljp: Maybe this really is interesting....seeing as that's the second time I've been told this. You have a Pansy story? Really? *does a jig*....what's it called....cause I'd love to read it. I love reading any Pansy stories. I'm glad you like. It just came to me one day while I was daydreaming in class. It was a really boring class. I do hope you come back to read more. And I have already been back to read your story....which I love! Bad Ginny is good! No problem....I'm a review whore. *smirks*

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Detanya: Hi! I didn't even know it was a twist....and here it is a GREAT TWIST! *grins*....with cap locks and exclamation point! I am so loving this! I'm glad you like it....though it doesn't compare to how much I lurve your fic....as you well know! Thanx for the review.

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Special thanks to: My wonderful beta readers, Demeter, Beth, Kate, Callie, Sherry, and Arianna. Thanks for all your help guys. 


	3. My heart lies with a Gryffindor

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Disclaimer: All characters associated with the books are created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

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Author's note: Again....nothing new....except....naw never mind....still nothing new. This is the next chapter. Enjoy! 

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Slytherin Ambivalence

"C'mon, follow me - any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!", the giant known as Hagrid said. With that everyone followed behind him, everyone but me. I hung back and tried as I might I could not figure out how anyone could just scamper after this man. It seemed stupid but the only possible path to follow, for he knew the way to Hogwarts and I did not. But still I stood there silently watching as everyone walked away from me. As the wind picked up fiercely I wrapped my cloak around me tighter and began my descent to the crowd in front of me. I walked slowly taking in my surroundings, how dark they were, how anything could just jump out of the forest, grab me and pull me in without a second glance from anyone. I sped up despite myself and grinned when I saw Draco turn to say something to me, but found me nowhere in sight. He spun around quickly and searched the darkness for me. In the shadows of the trees I could see his looks for me become frantic and as he ran back to where I last stood I stepped out of the shadows. His face was white with worry when I walked into his path. 

"Draco....looks like you've seen a ghost", I murmured softly, as I took his hand in mine and dragged him to the back of the pack.

"Bloody hell Pansy! Don't do that again", he spat angrily. I could tell his blood was boiling, for his face was red and he wouldn't look at me. I squeezed his hand in apology and we walked together the rest of the way in silence, both not daring to say something we would regret. 

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec, jus' round this bend here", Hagrid's voice floated over the wind to both our ears and I grimaced as I noticed the inexperienced first years hurry up to catch that glimpse. 

They stared at the castle as if it was the most wonderful thing they had ever seen. I shook my head and whispered to Draco, "Commoners". His mask of anger lifted from his face to be replaced by a truly genuine smile. One he always saved for me. I smiled back and looked ahead again.

I noticed that where people were milling about was an opening, faint moonlight filtered through it and onto the students. And there looking at the castle with the rest of the class was the red haired boy I had noticed on the platform. The moonlight shone on his face, folding itself into the contours of his skin. I stood involuntarily and took a sharp breath, he was beautiful, and everything at that moment reminded me of an angel. His skin seemed to glow from the inside and his smile was wide enough to reach both ears. My heart tightened and I knew that for the first time in my life that I had a crush. As he turned to leave and let the rest get a look he glanced back at me and his eyes twinkled in the darkness. I could do nothing but stare and he chanced a lopsided grin my way, then he was gone, amongst the others in the crowd. 

Draco dropped my hand and faced me, "Who was that Pansy?", he asked. His whole body seemed to question me, and for the life of me I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Uh....", I muttered softly knowing my face was red and thankful that it was dark and Draco had no idea.

"Well?".

"It was no one Draco", I said and walked away from him to the opening in the forest. That's when I saw it, the castle known as Hogwarts. My mouth fell open and I knew what everyone else had thought. The castle was enormous even from here, dark grey stone, all the windows in the castle alight with candles. Welcoming the new school year. Draco came up behind me and I heard a small gasp from his lips, clearly he to was in slight shock. I felt a peace come over my nerves then and I realized that everything would be just as I had always thought it would be. "It's amazing", I said to Draco.

He nodded silently and we made our way down to where the giant and the rest of the first years had stopped. "No more'n four to a boat!", Hagrid called out when we reached the shore. The lake before us was massive, a dark shimmering pool, the waves licking the soft earth beneath my feet. It was calming and my butterflies melted away. There were many little boats in front of me, quaint and comforting as I stepped into the light of the lantern to look at them. I laughed to myself when I saw many girls step up beside Draco hoping to get a seat beside him. Even now I knew he was handsome. With the blondest hair I had ever seen, dark grey eyes, a slim face with the perfect mouth and nose. He was my friend and I had never seem him as this, but I did find it amusing that all these girls where falling all over themselves to get in a boat with him. Draco though didn't even notice and when he stepped up beside me I saw many long faces. He grabbed my hand and we both hopped into a boat, accompanied by Vincent and Gregory.

"Everyone in?", shouted Hagrid and I turned to find the giant in a boat by himself. For some reason this struck me as funny and I shook silently with laughter, though nothing was funny about this. I reasoned with myself that I just must be giddy. When he saw that everyone was in a boat he yelled, "Right then - FORWARD!". The boats moved all at once and started the short journey across the lake. The water, which had lapped at the shore, was smooth as glass away from it. I sat staring forward at the castle, my happiness bubbling up inside me until I though I would burst. "Heads down!", the giant yelled when we reached the cliff where the castle sat. I lowered my head as we passed through a hanging curtain of ivy into a tunnel that was obviously concealed from the outside world. 

We pulled ashore, climbed out and onto rocks and though I didn't hear a word the giant said I saw his lips move. I followed behind the crowd with my companions into a dark tunnel and out onto smooth green grass. It smelled new and alive was damp and sparkled in the light from the castle windows. Before me was a massive oak door to which we all climbed the steps toward. Milling around it Hagrid knocked three times and I waited with baited breath. The door opened quickly right away and in the doorway stood a strict looking witch. What she said then remains a mystery to me, as I was still lost in the expansive layout of Hogwarts. She left and returned again a few minutes later beckoning us to follow her. I followed beside Draco and stepped into a beautifully decorated great hall the roof reflecting the night's sparkling stars. It was surreal and I longed to touch it, to see if it was real or not. We walked between two tables towards the front and around us where the other students, second years and up all gazing at us. I mused to myself that they were probably trying to figure, which of us would be their future housemates. 

The sorting ceremony was far more quicker then I though it would be. I decided it was because I still hadn't heard one word of what was said, until Draco swaggered forward acting like he owned the world and the hat was just about to touch his head when it screamed out, "SLYTHERIN". He smirked at me and joined the table of rough looking individuals. When my time came I walked calmly to the stool and sat upon it. "SLYTHERIN", it shouted and I heard my new house, my new family clap for me, and I swished over head held high and sat beside Draco. I glanced at the head table, recognizing Severus Snape, a fellow Death Eater of my father, nudged Draco, nodded my head towards him, and returned my attention to the ceremony. 

The crowd had all but disappeared with only two boys left, one being my red haired crush. When he was called my heart plummeted for he was none other then a Weasley. Ronald Weasley to be exact. His face had a faint tinge of green to it when he sat on the stool and put the hat on his head. He was there for no longer then a second when the hat cried out, "GRYFFINDOR". Ron breathed a sigh of relief and ran to his new house table, slamming himself next to a creature with messy black hair and round glasses. That was the moment I realized my job was going to be harder, him being in Gryffindor was going to cause many bumps in the road to his heart.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Life at the castle turned out to be great. I had made a few friends, mostly the boys in my year but also a girl in my dorm; Millicent became my friend almost immediately. For the first time in my life I had a friend that was a female and someone who I could talk to about things I couldn't talk about with Draco. Though never could I mention Ronald Weasley, to either of them, for I was a Slytherin and Gryffindors were our greatest enemy. 

Classes were enjoyable for the most part, though I spent most of my class time sitting beside Millicent listening to her gush about how good looking Draco was and how jealous of me she was. I grew tired of it after a few days and took to just smiling and nodding my head. I had seen Ron only a few times during the first week and when I did he would glance my way and glance away again just as quick. I had learned that the creature he sat next to the first night was now his best friend and the one and only Harry Potter. The boy who lived and sent my Dark Lord to his defeat, hiding out somewhere and leaving his followers behind. The boy who everyone talked about and the boy that seemed to spark a bitter feud between himself and Draco. From the first moment I saw them talk I saw the hate apparent on both their flushed faces.

When our first class of potions rolled around I was sitting down in the back of the class with Millicent and ignoring her complaning of the distance from Draco when he walked in. I was snapping my head up to tell Millicent to be quiet and take out her things when a flash of red caught my attention. He came in followed by Harry and sat a row in front of me. I noticed Draco saying something to him and then looking at me and I cast my head down to find my quill and parchment. That was when Snape came sweeping in cape billowing out behind him to start the first potion class of the term. He called attendance and started straight in on Potter, humiliating him in front of the whole class. It was amusing to say the least until he made some stupid comment about the mudblood next to him which seemed to put Snape in a worse mood then he was already in. I went to work on the simple potion with Millicent and kept my eye on Ron the entire class. It was fairly uneventful except when Longbottom's cauldron collapsed in on itself and he splattered himself with the potion. He whimpered like an imbecile, Slytherins laughing until Snape snapped for a sandy haired Gryffindor to take him to the hospital wing. When class ended I jumped out of my seat and all but ran for the common room to get away from Draco, who I knew had seen me every so often chancing a look at Ron. Life was definitely going to be hard with Draco's unapproving stare around all the time.

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Done this chapter....for it seems long to me....though I don't right know if it is. If it isn't sorry but I don't feel like typing anymore. This is the end of chapter three....what do you all think? Please review....*taunts readers with money clip*....please? *wink* As always I don't know when the next chapter will be done, though I can say probably not for another week or so, maybe longer....

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Flames will serve to amuse me beyond reason.....giving me hours of enjoyment then used to light my neighbour's annoying poodle on fire. Flaming pooch! 

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Kiki-kins: I'm sure your not the only one who's never imagined them together....but my brain works in mysterious and frightening ways. Really? Extremely well-done? Thank you....I thought it was ok but never well-done....that really makes my day. I'm glad you like it so far....and I have continued....see? *points up* I will keep it up as well as I can. Thanx for the review. And I can't wait for your Pansy fic to be posted....I look forward to it.

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Cait Radcliffe: I love reading Pansy stories as well, she such a wonderful character who I think Rowling should expand on but alas....the story is about Harry and not her. I wish there were more Pansy stories....I'd be in heaven. Why thanx, I'm happy that you think this is good, and the whole Pansy/Ron thing came to me when I was in class one day. Daydreaming does have its advantages....non? *sputters* Draco/Hermione? I don't like that pairing that much unless it's extremely well written....I do however like Voldermort/Hermione....thanx to Detanya. Thanx for the review.

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Flameraven: *grins*....this is a really weird combination isn't it? It seems to keep blowing people's minds....them being together....everyone keeps saying it. I love it! *smirks* It does put a _whole _new twist on the Pansy/Hermione relationship. Interesting. There's that word again. *laughs* I will keep going and thanx for the review.


	4. Slytherin Pride

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Disclaimer: All characters associated with the books are created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

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Author's note: Nothing new except there's only 38 days left until Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets premiere. *happy dance* I'm also looking for Halloween costumes already....gotta get them soon or everything good will be taken....I hope I can find Slytherin Quidditch robes....if not....*rub chin*....hmmm....maybe I can get my mom to make me some. Anyways here's the next chapter....enjoy and please review.

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Slytherin Ambivalence

Potions was the only class that Dumbledore had been stupid enough to pair up the Gryffindors with us Slytherins, not that I was complaining. During this one class I got to spend more time with Ron; though he didn't know it himself. My other classes were fine as far as classes could go. Charms and Potions were by far the most entertaining classes while Transfiguration, Herbology, History of Magic, and Defence Against the Dark Arts were more then a little boring. I however did pay attention and maintained a high grade. I did my homework every night sitting beside the fire in the common room around the table, stretched out on either the couch or chair with Draco and Millicent beside me. Snickering occasionally with Gregory and Vincent whenever Millicent played the damsel in distress and asked Draco to help her with whatever she was doing. It was one of those nights when our Head of House Snape walked in and posted a small notice before stalking out, menace in his step. 

"He seemed grumpier then usual I'd say", I said to Draco. He nodded his head and I continued doing my work. I was just finishing up and pulling out a small book when Blaise Zabini, a tall handsome boy with milky skin, curly brown hair, and amber eyes sat beside me in the free chair in a huff.

"Did you hear the news?", he asked his face flushing at what ever was bugging him.

"Nope", I answered, unfolding my legs on the couch Draco and I were sharing and pushing him to the edge. I smirked at him when he shook his head and dragged his books to his new position.

"We start flying lessons on Thursday", he said his voice full of hatred and dropping his eyelashes for effect. 

Draco dropped what he was doing and looked at Blaise waiting for him to continue. I knew how long Draco had been waiting for this. He had loved flying around the clearing behind my house, the tall trees blocking our adventures from the view of overbearing parents. I myself couldn't wait for flying lessons to start, and maybe one day trying out for the Quidditch team. "Is that all you had to tell us?", I asked amused.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I loved to watch Blaise tell us what was going on....he was always exaggerating everything....drawing it out until you couldn't stand it anymore, I found it torturous but humorous none the less. "We have flying lessons with the Gryffindors", he spit out finally his lips turning up at the corners. He put his hand up and covered his mouth, letting out a small cough to cover his smile. I knew what he was waiting for put couldn't care less. I sat there in stunned silence as did everyone else, though my reasons where much different. Thought's raced through my head....flying lessons with Gryffindor meant flying lessons with Ron. I was happy inside but instantly put on my game face for the rest of the common room. I could not afford for them to find out about my crush on a Gryffindor. 

"WHAT?!", Draco shouted. His anger causing Blaise too cough again as he snickered. This was what he had been waiting for as had a few others. His temper hardly ever got the best of him and even I found it amusing when it did, his face always turning scarlet red.

Blaise lowered his hand, trying to keep from smiling and nodded his head solemnly, "We have flying lessons with the Gryffindors....says so on that notice Snape pinned on the annoncements board". He pointed to the parchment that Snape had pinned up only a while ago. Draco shot up and all but ran to the announcement board, he ripped the notice down and walking back to his seat beside me. He read it over before passing it to me....my eyes skimmed over it quickly until I reached the part I wanted. "You will begin flying lessons this coming Thursday with Madam Hooch. Please prepare yourself and take notice that you will share this time with the Gryffindors. Headmaster Dumbledore".

I crumpled the notice up and threw it into the fire in front of me, watching the edges fold from the heat and melt away when they caught fire. Draco had calmed down, as fast as his temper rose it always disappeared faster. Everyone sat in silence, I went back to reading my book, Draco and Millicent to their homework, Gregory and Vincent started up a new game of Wizards Chess, and Blaise grabbed another of my books and settled in for a long read. I couldn't concentrate on my book as it happened and excused myself for the night; giving my seat to Millicent to which she jumped into the moment I vacated and instantly started pestering Draco. I escaped to my dorm and collapsed onto my bed, pulling the velvet forest green curtains closed behind me. As I lay there all I could picture was Ron's eyes, the way they twinkled with mystery and adventure, and I worried about how I was going to keep my crush a secret. I closed my eyes and snuggled into the warmth of the forest green duvet, pulling it and the silk silver sheets around my chin, and fell asleep.

The next few days seemed to fly by as we awaited our first flying lesson with anticipation. I was extremely excited and for once it had nothing to do with Ron. In fact I could care less that any Gryffindors where in the class, I only cared that I was going to be flying today. The day though once here dragged on and when it was finally time for flying lessons I hopped out of my seat and hurried to our next class, every other Slytherin making their way just as quickly behind me. Draco at my side we dashed across the damp lawn and skidded to a stop infront of the whole of the Gryffindor first years. I rolled my eyes at them and found a nice broom at the end of the long line, awaiting the start of class. I noticed that Ron stood beside Potter across from me and a few brooms down, his face showing nothing but excitement.

When Madam Hooch walked between the two rows of brooms and stopped at the end she barked, "Well what are you all waiting for? Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up!". The stranglers stood by a free broom and awaited the professors next order. "Stick out your right hand over your broom, and say 'Up!'". 

All around me shouts of "Up!", could be heard and I added to the confusion. I noticed beside me Draco's broom shoot up into his hand almost immediately and I grinned at him. Mine shot into my hand soon after and with further instruction from Madam Hooch we were all straddling our brooms, ready to begin flying for all we were worth. Even before she could blow her whistle for us to lift of the ground Longbottom pushed away and flew straight up into the air. His face was white with fright and when I caught sight of it I snickered loudly. I was still snickering when he slipped sideways off his broom and fell back to earth with a loud crack. He landed face down in a heap and I hid my laughter as Madam Hooch rushed to his side. It turned out he had a broken wrist and she hurried him to the hospital wing telling us that if she caught anyone of the ground they would be expelled. Once out of earshot I dissolved into laughter with Draco and went to stand beside Millicent as we both shook in amusement.

Once Draco had calmed down enough to talk he turned to me with an evil grin and said, "Did you see his face, the great lump?". 

"Shut up, Malfoy", Parvati Patil snapped at Draco as we all laughed along at Longbotttom's expense. When she told Draco to shut up though our entire house fell silent. Everyone who's anyone knows a Malfoy deserves respect and to tell one to shut up was just asking for a hex to be sent his or her way. I had been trained alongside Draco this past summer in some of the most simple dark art hexes and was more then willing to try them out as soon as possible. 

After a second of deliberation I decided against it, my education was much too important to throw away on a Gryffindor so I settled for a sarcastic remark as I pushed my way to the front of the crowd. "Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom? Never thought _you'd_ like fat little cry babies Parvati". I could just picture the smirk on Draco's face as I stood up for him, cementing myself as his right hand lady. 

I glanced back at him and winked before he darted forward to pick up something off the ground. The rememberall Longbottom had received that day was lying in the grass and Draco held it up for us to see. "Look", he said. Right away Potter jumped to Longbottoms defence and insisted that Draco give the stupid thing to him. I watched with baited breath at what I knew was about to unfold. Draco smirked evil intentions written all over his face, "I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to collect - how about - up a tree?". Before Potter could do anything Draco had hopped onto his broom and shot into the air and hovered above a tall tree. "Come and get it, Potter!", he called and Potter did just that. He flew right up to where Draco was waiting obviously showing off for his little friends on the ground and stopped sharply in front of Draco who looked quite stunned. They hovered there together for a few moments exchanging words then Potter shot straight at Draco trying to nock him off his broom with no success. Draco looked behind him at Potter then threw the stupid thing as afar as he could. It soared through the air....seemingly in slow motion as everyone watched. Everyone watched it but Potter who in a flash had shot forward after it. A blur passed over my head closer to the ground then what it had started out as. I turned when I felt a hand on the small of my back and saw Draco grinning. He nodded his head towards the castle and nearly running to the scene was the Gryffindors Head of House, Professor McGonagall. 

My amusement at the look on her face was beyond anything I could hold n and I turned away from her and laughed silently as she yelled at Potter, his lackeys trying to blame the whole thing on Draco. Though he did start it I knew he wouldn't get into trouble and this served as more amusement for the Slytherins. As he followed after the old hag I chanced a glance at Ron and what I saw was a shock to me. He was clearly looking at me, his face ashen as his best friend was ushered off to the Headmasters office for his expulsion. His eyes bore into mine and it was as if he was questioning my amusement. Immediately I stopped smiling and looked away, my emotions taking over and guilt flooding my mind. Though I didn't mind or could care less that Potter was going to be expelled I did know I would be beyond sad if my best friend was expelled. Without Draco I don't know what I would do.

As it turned out however Potter didn't get expelled and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how come until rumour spread that he was to be the Gryffindor seeker. The old bat had dismissed the incident in order for her house team to win Quidditch cup. The year had started out somewhat tensely between my house and the Gryffindors but I knew this would make it even worse. After all we hadn't lost the Quidditch Cup or for that matter the House Cup in seven years, and I know we didn't plan on losing it to the Gryffindors. When Draco came in for dinner and saw that Potter was still sitting there I knew he was going to make trouble. Though normally I would want to be in the middle of it I stayed at the table and watched for I couldn't afford another emotion running through my head. Guilt can take up plenty of room and adding another one to the mix could possibly put me over the edge. 

So I watched and watched as they exchanged words again for the second time that day. When it was over Draco came and sat beside me his back to the Gryffindors and he piled food onto his plate. With a smile he began to tell me how he had challenged Potter to a Wizards Duel tonight with Weasley as Potters second. I blanched at his words. Of all the things I was suspecting I never thought he would say that. He smiled at me and reassured me that he wasn't even planning on going. Through the rest of dinner I didn't talk to anyone else as I though of how this could very well be the last time I ever saw Ron Weasley again, but there was nothing I could do. My loyalties lied with Draco my best friend and fellow Slytherin. I could never turn my back on my heritage so I said nothing and spent the rest of my night lying in bed worrying over the fate of Ron. I fell asleep just before dawn and was awakened by Draco as he shook me gently as not to scare me.

"Pansy wake up", he whispered in my ear. I sat up slowly and looked at him. He was ready for the day as usual, his hair slicked back in the Malfoy trait. He was ready to rule the school with Potter gone. I pushed him away from me and hopped out of bed to push him out the door. 

"I'll meet you at breakfast. You know you're not allowed in here", I said softly and shut the door in his face before grabbing my things and going to get ready for the longest day of my life. I had had barely any sleep and to top it off I was positive Ron had been expelled and sent packing the moment they had been caught. Yes I was sure it was going to be a long day. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Neither Potter nor Ron was expelled that night or even given detention as far as I could see. It seemed they had gotten away with it. Draco was mad as was expected but got over it soon enough and we both took to taunting the Gryffindors even more then before. When Halloween finally rolled around I was greatly looking forward to it. I knew the house elves would cook a wonderful feast, hopefully better then the start of term feast. I was seated next to Gregory and Vincent spooning some peas onto my plate when the doors to the great hall burst open and Professor Quirrell came running in. His face was white with terror and he ran towards the head table quickly stuttering stupidly until he could finally spit out what he had wanted to say. He stopped to catch his breath before screaming, "Troll - in the dungeons - thought you ought to know". I admit that I was terrified but the sight of Quirrell dropping unconscious on to the floor was amusing and as I snickered I stood with he rest of the school and rushed for the doors. Everyone was screaming in panic and pushing people out of the way trying to get out of the great hall. I stayed behind everyone making sure I didn't get trampled when Dumbledore's voice was heard over the confusion telling the prefects to take everyone back to their respective houses.

The crowd calmed down and followed closely behind their prefects. I smirked when we reached the stairs that led to the dungeons. "Just like Dumbledore to provide no protection for us. Of course he was to worried about Potter to care that _our_ common rooms _are_ in the dungeons", I said to Draco as I stopped beside him and looked at the prefect who wouldn't step pest the second stair. Draco looked at me and realized the same thing. Obviously everyone in his or her panic had not thought about the fact that our common room was in the dungeon and our prefect was just thinking this over trying to come to a possible solution. I shook my head and stepped forward and past the prefect and onto the staircase. Of all the stupid things I had ever done this was more then possible the most stupid one I could remember doing I thought as I walked down the steps by myself. I wasn't scared however and continued to the bottom of the staircase and walked to the common room not waiting for the other students. I didn't plan on waiting all night for them to follow and before I reached the trap door in the wall Draco stood beside me. The rest of the house followed suit and we entered our common room and collapsed onto empty chairs. I spent the rest of the night reading in front of the fire, my company only consisting of a gibbering Millicent on her love for Draco.

The next day word spread fast that Ron had taken out a fully-grown mountain troll with the help of Potter and their new friend, mudblood Granger. From the moment I saw them the first time I knew without a doubt that Ron liked this girl and she him. They were constantly at each other's throats for something but always gazing at each other when the other wasn't looking. It was sickening to say the least and the more they did it the more my jealousy grew. From then on they where known by us as the "Dream Team".

I ignored them as best I could until the first Quidditch game of the season, which we were playing against the Gryffindors. I was up early the morning of with happiness coursing through my veins. Our house team was amazing as far as I could see and beating the Gryffindors was something we took pride in; I was mostly looking forward to Potters face as his team lost. 

I ate breakfast quickly that day and joined Millicent as she walked to the pitch. We walked up the stairs slowly leading to the top level and took seats in the front row. The rest of the students where already sitting or making their way to the pitch as well. I saw Draco to my left sitting with Gregory and Vincent and talking amongst themselves. Lately they always seemed to be talking amongst themselves, I shrugged and turned to Millicent and was about to say something when I noticed her glazed over eyes. I shook my head in annoyance and faced the pitch, while she stared at Draco. When the team doors opened onto the pitch and both teams flew around the stadium I stood with the rest and cheered, waving my little flag with pride. The first game of the season always promised to be a good match. 

Madam Hooch walked onto the field and shouted up at both teams for a fair game to which I heard snickers all around me. I knew that wasn't going to happen for no Slytherin could pass up a chance to add a little violence to a simple game of Quidditch. With that she threw the Quaffle into the air and the game began. I cheered loudly egging our team on and laughing heartedly when they fouled a Gryffindor. The game was rough and I longed to be in play, as long as I could remember I had wanted to join the house team. I snapped out of my daydream when the crowd around me cheered and I looked out onto the pitch. Potter was hanging onto his broom and it was bucking and soaring around trying to knock him off. His team was trying to help him out and not paying any attention to the game that was still being played out around them. Marcus scored five times without them noticing before Potters broom suddenly stopped and he clambered back up onto it quickly and clutched it tightly. As soon as he was up though he took off straight for the ground speeding up as he went. I had no idea what he was doing as he clamped a hand over his mouth and fell onto the pitch. He sat up on his knees and started heaving, the more I watched the more confused I got. It all fell down around me though as he spit a small glittering object into his hand and held it up. In his fist was the golden snitch. We had lost and lost to them. The Gryffindors loved and praised by all but us and our Head of House Snape.

The shock of loosing wore off eventually and soon it was Christmas time. Vacation plans were made and I packed my bags silently. I was spending the holiday at the Malfoy manor with Draco and his family, which I was grateful for since I had no plans in returning to my home. We boarded the train and sat in a compartment towards the back. For some reason Draco was distant and not wanting to anger him I pulled out a book and read the entire trip back to the King's Cross. We didn't speak to each other the entire way but as soon as we got off the train and his mother called for us he looked at me, confusion on his face. "Pansy....Pansy....er....I....Pansy....just remember he's only a Gryffindor", he said and grabbed my hand to pull me through the holiday crowds. 

For the next two weeks I didn't mention anything about what he said to me to Draco and we spent most of our time out in the gardens. I couldn't believe he had known how I felt about Ron. Maybe I had let my emotions run rampant and he had seen them. As much as I wanted to be friends with Ron I couldn't help but wonder if I had lost my best friend? Would he betray me to my parents? Would he betray me to my Dark Lord? Would he disown me? Would I loose the most important person in my life? Would I loose my best friend? These were the only things I thought about as we sat in the garden away from the world avoiding what we wanted to say. 

As the Christmas holidays drew to a close I still hadn't said anything to Draco and as we boarded the train back to Hogwarts and back to Ron I knew I had to say something to ease the tension between us. So when we were in our compartment away from the prying ears and eyes of the rest of the school I turned to him and asked him exactly what he had meant by his comment when I stepped off the train. "Pansy, it meant exactly what it sounded like. Don't throw your life away because of a silly crush. But no matter what we'll always be friends", he answered and stared out the window. I settled into my chair, thinking to myself on how he was wise at such a young age. I said nothing and when we returned to Hogwarts things went back to normal, both of us pushing it from our thoughts. I tried my hardest to forget about Ron since he was so preoccupied with Potter and his mudblood. I studied more often then not and spent most of my time reading or doing homework, avoiding any place where I might catch a glimpse of Ron. His eyes though wouldn't leave me alone....and even though I hardly ever saw him he was always there in my thoughts. 

The rest of the year passed quickly, the months and seasons flying past in a blur much like Potter had done our first flying lesson. The grounds, which had been covered in gleaming white snow, had faded to soggy grass, which slurped every time you lifted a foot to walk. I kept a close eye on my grades which soared but never in comparison to that mudblood. She achieved the highest grades all year long and I was dreading the moment I found out my marks. Would I even make it into the top five percentile? Whenever I thought of this I worked harder then before staying longer then Draco and Millicent in front of the fire where we did our work. I paid as much attention to what was going on around me as I could when I wasn't doing homework though in the last few weeks of term it wasn't much. I knew that Draco had gotten detention in the Forbidden Forest, and though I felt for him I couldn't help but find it amusing, after all he was entering into a deadly forest with none other then the giant Hagrid, Potter, a mudblood, and the klutz Neville, all Gryffindors.

With exam week close on hand all students took to studying. I of course could get away without studying since I had spent the better part of the year with my head in a book much like Granger. I knew everything like the back of my hand and was satisfied that I would make it into the top five percentile. 

Our exams where fairly easy and before I knew it they where over and I was walking back to the common room to grab my cloak when I came across the dream team in the hall talking in hushed voices. I shook my head and continued on my way. I could not afford to break my will, just a few minutes in Ron's presence and I was sure that would be it. I had made my resolve and I planned to stick by it. I would not talk to him or look at him. 

That night I lay in bed thinking of the things that would inevitably come and wondered if I would ever get over Ron. Maybe I just needed to get back to my roots I thought to myself that night. I fell asleep; Ron's eyes lingering even in my dreams.

An excited Millicent awoke me the next day. "Pansy! Wake up!! It's the last day of term!!", she shouted into my bed. I rolled over and opened my curtains a crack. She was there in her Hogwarts robes all ready for the day. 

"I know Millicent, I'm not completely daft", I answered as I rolled out of bed and got dressed before beginning to back my trunk for my return home. To my family that didn't care about me, away from the only people who did. "Millicent?", I asked her before I knew what I was doing.

"Yes?", she asked and turned to smile at me.

"Thanks....you know....for being my friend", I said and turned to continue packing.

"Pansy are you ok?", she asked me then as I kept my eyes diverted from her.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?". She let it drop there but I knew what ever was going on in my head was bugging her to. 

When I was done packing my trunk I closed and locked it then went to breakfast. Everyone had already left for the great hall and I walked along the dungeon hall slowly, thinking over the year as it had been. My main thoughts centring on Draco and Ron. Breakfast was amazing and by far the best that I could ever remember eating at Hogwarts, the house elves had really outdone themselves today. Probably planning for the end of term banquet tonight that I knew was going to be the best we had eaten yet. After breakfast I went back to the common room to retrieve my cloak and along with Draco, Gregory, Vincent and Millicent made my way out into the grounds for welcomed freedom. I noticed that not many Gryffindors where up to having any fun and I felt sorry for them and despite myself worried. I had heard about what had happened under the trap door and how Voldermort had been in the castle the entire year. I had heard that Ron was unconscious in the hospital wing along with Potter, Granger by their sides worrying about them. We stayed outside the entire day talking and preparing for the looks on all the Gryffindors faces when Dumbledore announced that we had won House Cup again.

When the feast was set to begin I took my place beside Draco and we sat down, our Slytherin pride evident on our faces as we looked down on the other houses. We had won and there was no way around it, for the seventh year now the best house had won. The Slytherins were the reining house yet again. When Potter walked in the entire hall fell silent and then burst into excited whispers as the boy who lived found a seat next to Ron. Who for the first time all day I finally noticed sitting beside Granger, a bruise still lingering on his face. Everyone watched Potter and whispered back and forth about him until Dumbledore arrived and stood at the head table facing the students. He clasped his hands together and looked around and then up at the green and silver banners hanging from the roof. 

He looked over the students again and began cheerfully, "Another year gone! And I must trouble you with an old man's wheezing waffle before we sink our teeth into our delicious feast. What a year it has been! Hopefully your heads are all a little fuller then they were....you have the whole summer ahead to get them nice and empty before next year starts....", he paused momentarily then continued. "Now, as I understand it, the house cup here needs awarding and the points stand thus: in fourth place, Gryffindor, with three hundred and twelve points; in third, Hufflepuff, with three hundred and fifty-two; Ravenclaw have four hundred and twenty-six and Slytherin, four hundred and seventy-two".

When he said this our table exploded into cheers and screams, I even noticed Snape smile in our direction. He never smiled or showed any emotion, but just like us he loved the fact that we had beat them, the perfect house of Gryffindor. I sneered at them when they looked over at us, I was happy for winning and wasn't about to show them any sympathy. Draco did the same and picked up his goblet and banged it against the table, smirking in Potter's direction.

"Yes, yes, well done, Slytherin", continued Dumbledore. "However, recent events must be taken into account". Our table was quiet now and my smirk was wiped from my face as the worst raced through my head. Snape looked the same and quickly glanced at the Headmaster to see what was going on. I had heard and in fact saw that Dumbledore favoured the Gryffindors and I was about to see it first hand again but to a greater extent. "Ahem. I have a few last-minute points to dish out. Let me see. Yes....first - to Mr. Ronald Weasley....for the best-played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years, I award Gryffindor house fifty points". Ron turned purple and the house table cheered loudly, and tried to pat him on the back. I sat in silence with the rest of my house. 

"Second - to Miss. Hermione Granger....for the use of cool logic in the face of fire, I award Gryffindor house fifty points". I think our whole house table must have looked to Snape for something, anything,though he couldn't do anything and motioned for us to stay seated. The mudblood buried her face into her arms and her shoulders shook silently as her table cheered loudly again. I myself couldn't believe what was happening. Dumbledore our Headmaster who believed in everything being fair and stupid inter-house realtions was dishing out points for his old house. Everyone knew that he was a Gryffindor in the old days and that he favoured them, but I had never seen it this much. He was smiling down at them as if he shared a personal secret with each and every one of them and they with him. They were looking at us. Slytherins who aren't supposed to show any emotions, all of us sitting there unmoving as he took our win from us. 

"Third - to Mr. Harry Potter....for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house sixty points". The cheering then reached an all time new as the tables and dishes shook under the voices of the Gryffindors, and still Dumbledore smiled at them. I knew then that they ran this school. Even the Headmaster was under the spell of the almighty Gryffindor....those brave beings that they were. I couldn't believe it and as I sat there next to Draco I felt powerless. 

"There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to your friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom". As the words passed his lips I knew our houses fate had been chosen....I knew that for the rest of my time at Hogwarts things would just get worse. Even the Headmaster believed the Gryffindors better then us. I looked to Snape and saw this same understanding pass his face. The noise grew and the whole castle must have shook under the Gryffindors cheers and still we sat there in complete silence, and still Dumbledore smiled at his precious house.

"Which means....we need a little change of decoration". With that he clapped his hands and the banners hanging from the roof changed from green and silver to scarlet and red. As they changed I changed. I felt all eyes on our table as we sat there in disbelief and all the houses celebrated our downfall, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff joining in when they saw how Dumbledore felt about us. I knew life at Hogwarts was going to much different for even the blasted Headmaster had feelings about us.....the rotten apple so to say of Hogwarts. 

I never in my life had ever felt more betrayed. Snape shook hands with McGonagall plastering a false smile on his face and then walking to sit with our table. We made room for him and ate in silence. The cheers hardly quieted through out the entire feast, and still the Headmaster smiled his secret down on the Gryffindors and them at him. The term was over and we had accomplished nothing but finding out that our Headmaster played favourites and despised the Slytherins. 

We left the great hall the night slowly and made our way back to the dorms no one talking, and sat in the common room awaiting the next day when we could leave this place. Snape came in that night and sat with us, twice in one day when he actually sat with us, it was surreal to say the least but we welcomed his brooding figure gratefully. He was an elder who knew how we felt, for he had seen prejudice first hand, and although we showed it openly to the Gryffindors we had never seen it come from our Headmaster. 

I went to the girls dorm soon after Snape left us and fell into bed, pulling the covers around my neck for comfort that wouldn't come. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get what had happened out of my head, and no matter how hard I tried to forget Ron's pleased face I couldn't. Even the boy I had a crush on was prejudice against us. If only one day he could see that I wasn't against him. At least soon we wouldn't have to look at their happy little faces, rubbing it in that the Headmaster displayed favourites so plainly obvious in front of the whole school. I knew the train ride home was going to be a long one and I was thankful Draco's calming presence....and as I fell asleep I wished that my sister was still a true Parkinson so she could tell me everything would be alright.

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Thanx for reading. As always don't expect the next chapter for some time....since I'm not even sure exactly how to continue this. I don't right know if I'm going to make it go year by year or just skip to the sixth year or something like that....it might take me awhile to figure out....but I hope you liked it so far....and please review....it would make me feel better....since I only have eight....which seems so cheap....non? Though I am gratful for them! Please review....*taunts readers with money clip*....please? *wink* 

Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Flames will serve to amuse me beyond reason, then used to keep me amused for hours more....burning anything I can get my hands on.

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f0xyness39: You haven't but thanx for that....at least you seem to like it....and go you....your my first repeat offender. *does happy dance* How does that make you feel? No worries....it was a really good story....had Remus....*growls*....he's cool. ;) *hugs Foxy back* No problem....maybe I should go tell you I updated right now....*rubs chin*....hmmm....that sounds like a good idea....*tottels off to find Foxy*

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